*82*

Sailing: 10/5/09. I'm the one in green.

Things have slowed down for me with the weight loss. During the entire month of September I consumed way too many Benefit Bars. What are Benefit Bars? They're the chocolatey peanut butter protein goodness that the clinic sells. Eating them is allowed because it's product sold at the clinic. Eating too many at 160 calories a piece, however, will certainly slow down the weight loss. It's stress eating, happy eating, boredom......whatever. I'm an equal opportunity snacker.

Since my transition into Phase 3 (Maintenance Phase) I've had a crab leg, (yes just one), two servings of salmon at about 3-4 oz each on separate nights for dinner, and a southwest chicken sandwich at Petco Park. All of the other food I'm consuming consists of shakes, entrees, BARS, fruits and vegetables. Today I went to Trader Joes and purchased HUMMUS (yummy times a gazillion), apples, pears, and butternut squash. This is such a huge difference from my shopping cart six months ago. Back then Trader Joes was good for one thing: chocolate covered raspberry sticks. I actually read the label today and for three pieces it was 140 calories or something ridiculous. I can only imagine how many calories I consumed when, six months ago, I ate the entire container in one sitting.

The maintenance phase is a little scary. I'm not allowing myself to return to normal eating just yet because I need to lose at least 30 more pounds. My scale this morning showed a naked weight of 207. I'm so close to Onederland. At the clinic tonight I weighed 210. The last time I weighed 210 was probably January 1997. Losing 82 pounds since April 1st feels INCREDIBLE.
Last week I went to Macy's and purchased the Macy's brand of jeans and fit into a size 14W. A FOURTEEN folks...I could hardly believe it myself. Although before you get too excited I tried on other brands and the 14s didn't fit. I'd say I'm a solid 16W, not a misses 16, but a 16W. I'm still wearing 1X tops because I've always been bigger on the top.

Here's where I'm at right now: Still doing the HMR program and focusing on 64 oz of water a day, 5 fruits/vegetables, two entrees, and 2-3 shakes PLUS 2000 calories burned in a week, AND record keeping. My instructor, Michelle, is AWESOME. I love how she brings her own life experiences to the class. I hear her say, "You're not striving for perfection, just progress."

Still at 80lbs.

It's been a while since I last blogged. When I get home from work the last thing I want to do is get on the computer. I managed to lose 1/2 lb two weeks ago and gained it back last week. Honestly, for the last two months I have had very little motivation to exercise and I've switched from being a gum-whore to a bar-trollop. The clinic sells very delicious "benefit bars" that are 160 calories a piece and soooooooooooooooooooo yummy. Eating them still keeps me "in the box" and on program 100%. But eating 4-5 a day? Uhh...NO. My instructor wisely told me that she realizes I'm staying in the box, but it's the behavior she is concerned about. If I eat this many calories once I go to maintenance my weight will come back on. My overindulgence of benefit bars are a good stress reliever. Comfort food. Did I mention my favorite bar is peanut butter and chocolate? 'nuff said.

I am in week 25 and boredom has arrived. I am in a transition period now as I move towards the Phase 3 part of the program known as Maintenance. What does this mean? I can now eat fruit. All vegetables are open for consumption. Previously, I wasn't able to consume vegetables that were more than 40 cal/cup. Corn, Peas, and Potatoes were OUT. I still need to lose another 30-40 pounds, but will do it in the Maintenance phase. My health insurance requires this phase for one year and it will be a great learning experience for me. I need to learn how to live in the real world with food challenges around me all the flippin' time. The program is superb. The instructors are fabulous and they're walking the walk and talkin' the talk. I trust them and their expertise.

Losing weight is hard. My favorite thing to talk about is food. My favorite magazines to read are cooking ones. I love to read recipes even though I can't cook worth a shit. Tomorrow is weigh-in. I hope that I maintained or at least show a loss. I've stayed in the box and exercised more this week than the last eight weeks so I do feel better about my effort.

And....The Biggest Loser has returned to NBC. I'm a HUGE fan. Well, actually - this is the first year I've watched the first show and weigh less than every contestant. That is kinda cool. I also follow www.kristinsteede.com's blog. She was my favorite contestant last year. I admired her drive and determination. We were about the same weight when she started and she is continuing to live a healthy lifestyle.

Sooo, that's the latest from fat camp from my side of the country.

Here are some pictures of my latest discoveries. Sweet potato fries: 100% olive oil spray and Mrs. Dash original blend. To. DIE. For.Folks.

I've also included a picture of one of my clinic entrees: lasagna and roasted bell peppers. DE.Lish.Share some of your low cal low fat EASY recipes. I'd love to have more options.

80 pounds GONE!

This is me today. I had my hair cut last week and have bangs for the first time in decades. My face was just too fat before.

I started this program on April 1. Today is September 2 and I've completed the 22nd week or reached the five month mark depending on how you want to calculate. I am down EIGHTY POUNDS. I can hardly believe it. Below are two pictures. The one on the left was taken on December 8, 2008 at my company's holiday party. Who's the skinny bitch next to me? I mean, seriously, who framed this picture to include her? We look like the number 10.

The other picture with the giganic champagne bottle (yum!) was taken during my first week of the program.

I look at these pictures and it makes me sad. I remember how horrible I felt. How difficult it was to breathe normally - to shower - to tie my shoes - to feel invisible. I don't EVER want to go back there.

Me and the elephant: Part II

Yesterday, my husband and I went to the zoo for a three mile walk up and down lots of hills. We stopped at the elephant. I know I look thinner with an elephant nearby, but here is the comparison from the picture taken on 5/24/09 weighing 252 and yesterday weighing 215.5. Please also note that wearing a white t-shirt adds 20 pounds. ;)

That is all.

Soo close

That pitiful, annoying 1.5 gain last week came off plus more. Tonight I lost 5.5 lbs for a 20 week total of 76.5 lbs. I'm SOO CLOSE to my driver's license weight. So close, that I *must* post it now. Tonight's weigh-in: 215.5. Note that when this picture was taken (1/25/2008) I was 52 pounds heavier than what is listed on my driver's license. I'm pleased that in 16 pounds I'll be in the ever elusive (until now) Onederland.

I really needed some scale love tonight because I've had a shitty-fuckitty-stressful-few weeks...at home and at work. Having stress at either place always puts a strain on the other. Soooo, the fuckittiness of my day-to-day life has been lifted, momentarily, in this 5.5 victory.

Skye-Lynn ordered the diet product I'm using from the official online site: www.hmrprogram.com. Please stop by her blog and share some encouragement. You can do it Skye!!

This morning I volunteered at the Making Strides Breast Cancer kick-off breakfast. Reporting time: 6:15 a.m. Needless to say my bed is calling me and I must crawl towards the pillowcase. Thanks for stopping by. I look forward to catching up with all of you.

Looking for a great work-out song? Try this fun one that I'm looping while I blog: I know you want me (Calle Ocho) by Pitbull

Credit for all versions of the word "fuckitty" used in this post are because of this hysterical guy.

Bollocks!

I gained 1.5 lbs. Let me just get to the bad news. FUCKITTY. So, what did I do differently this week? Exercised a little more, but ate pretty much the exact same thing that I've eaten the last few-effin'- months. This is my first gain since I started the program. I know others in my class have experienced this several times, but I haven't. What do I do?

I just keep moving on and doing what I'm supposed to do. On my drive home from the clinic I thought about my last three weeks. They haven't been stellar. I haven't exercised much since the challenge ended; haven't had as much water every day as I should; and my work stress has increased. Yesterday I worked a 12+ hr day and had to take 1/2 a Xantax at 8:30 a.m. because I knew it was gonna be rough. I can't even remember the last time I took a Xantax, but yesterday I was needing it. I'm sure stressors play a part in how our body reacts.

It is what it is. On to the next week. I'm getting up early tomorrow to exercise with my husband and start the week off right. Fuckitty's happen.

Desperately seeking a collarbone

...or a hip bone. I know they're in there, but I haven't seen them in more than two decades. Tonight I finished week 18 on HMR and lost 3.5 lbs bringing my total to 72.5. Just think, in 9.5 pounds the weight listed on my driver's license will finally be accurate. Believe me, blogland, when I tell you that I WILL post a picture of that.

I did not win the Pounds Down Challenge. :(
I worked my ass off exercising during the challenge. I tried new classes and worked out with new instructors. It was more of a challenge for me because I had to get out of my comfort zone. I'm usually the biggest person in the room always trying to find a seat in the back or behind something that will conceal my body. I have to remind myself that I'm going to work out because I need to lose weight. Who cares what people think? I'm there to work on this issue. Right?

Well, the pep talk didn't always work especially when the regular attendees at this small family-owned gym are skinny, toned, and athletic. They all know each other. Then, oh-lookie-there... I waddle in and try to work out with these hard core athletes. I can honestly say none of them ever made me feel embarrassed or ashamed. They were welcoming. During a circuit training class I was on the spin bike standing up (because they remove the seats!) and just could not move my legs any longer. "You've got this." It's the person behind me. She repeats, "You've got this. You can do it." I start cycling again. That's all it took. She understood how difficult the circuit could be and offered her support by telling me, "You've got this." That became my mantra during the rest of the challenge when I felt I could not move another muscle.

Yeah, the collarbone and hip bones are M.I.A., but I'll feel them soon enough. I haven't cheated on this diet and after 18 weeks that alone is a huge accomplishment for me. I'm exercising more than ever and...yep.... I think I've got this.

A few pictures from the desert somewhere between AZ and CA.